Depressed and wasted

First off, wasted here means that I feel like I'm wasting my time.

So, I'm back from a 4-5 months hiatus. As usual, because I forgot that I have a blog. Anyways, let me start.

I'm actually writing this post to help me procrastinate. Yep, you read that right.

Anyways, my days are exhausting, I don't have the will to keep waking up and drowning in my feelings. The only escape I have is my dreams. Thus, whenever I feel like there's a lot to do, I'm prone to sleeping it off.

It's bad for my grades, but I'm ashamed to tell anyone else. I feel like I'm drowning while watching others go on with their life, not bothering to see beyond the surface. Either that, or I'm a brilliant actress.

Yep, I need someone to tell me they care. Someone to pull me up when I fall. But, this is life, no one is willing to slow down for you. Your family will be there and say they understand. But do they really?
Nope.
No one understand anyone else, unless you've lived their life, made their mistakes and successes, told their truths and lies, and felt the roller-coaster of emotions.

I need to get my stuff together and go on with my life, I know, I know. I freaking know that.
But it's so hard when I keep on falling down, tripping and slipping, with nothing to hold.

The picture above sums up my thoughts in a nutshell.

I know I should be thinking of a happy scenario, to grit my teeth and go through it. However, all my thinking leads to this conclusion. I'm gonna die.

Yep, at this stage in life, I don't care.
That's it. I'm done.

-with this rant out, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.