Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Depressed and wasted

First off, wasted here means that I feel like I'm wasting my time.

So, I'm back from a 4-5 months hiatus. As usual, because I forgot that I have a blog. Anyways, let me start.

Monday, December 9, 2013

A Needed Update

A Needed Update

Hey Guys, Assalamualaikum.

First off, yes, I'm still alive ,Alhamdulillah. 
Sorry I haven't been updating my blog. Sibuk dengan life generally. Doing assignments, clinical practicum, writing reports, living my life, making and keeping friends.
It's been 2 years since I last updated this blog. And the last entry was to rant about stress and discipline.

Man, did I really wrote that???

Anyways, the reason I'm here is because I've suddenly remembered that I have a blog.
I also remembered all the things in life that I hate and regret.
I've remembered the reason I had a blog in the first place.
I also remembered that most of the people in my life does not know the existence of this blog. Which give me free reign of how I want to use it.

Which brings me to another point that I would like to inform and all my followers and the kind souls visiting my blog. 
I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (MDD)
Image 1: Basically what's in my head. A storm.

Image 2: Sums up how I feel. It's more complicated of course. I just feel like taking it easy today. No need to be politically correct.

The images below are the regret and despair I feel. Getting flashbacks, regretting previous actions. Wanting to tell my parents, deciding not too. Caring too much about others health and feelings as well as their opinions on me. This all leads to my depression.

Le gasp. Yup, it's true diagnosed with MDD on my final year of study. Now, the reason I'm telling you is because there are students who have depression and have not been diagnosed. Maybe they feel it's what everyone feels. Or maybe they're afraid of the stigma. Whatever the reason is they need professional help.

Now, why am I writing in Italics?
- I just feel like it.

Being serious again, guys and girls who have been feeling down and in the dumps whose family, friends or a prominent figure has said something that struck you and you've been thinking about it a lot. You need help, at least someone, preferably a professional, to hear you out. Don't go to a psychiatrist if you don't want to. Meet a therapist, or in Malaysia call the Befrienders
You can contact them at 03-79568144 or 03-79568145 daily. They are there for you 24/7.

However, if you or a friend has suicidal thoughts or intention, bring them immediatelyy to the psychiatrist for help.

Now, the point here is to bring awareness to everyone, anyone at any age can have depression. What is important is to get the help you need and resolve your issues. Do what you feel is right for you. Ignore everything else that you don't want to do.

Most of all, good luck on your pursuit of happiness and peace.

Author's note:
-Google depression and it's symptoms.
-I should go on a vacation.
-I will update the blog with my journey to happiness and salvation (wait, who am I saving?)
-If you feel that what I wrote is offensive, or incorrect, leave a comment.

Thanks. Have a pleasant day.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011



Well, during my time of absence for the last 3 months, I've been busy learning and wasting my time *doing useless activity* which I just recently realised. KD, this is very BAD!!! Now, I have my upcoming finals in 2 weeks starting on the 4th of January and my feelings  =  P.A.N.I.C.
Lesson learnt= don't leave everything*almost* to the last minute. It's a struggle to be climbing to the T.O.P.

So, back to the title, addicted.
Yes, I confess, I'm addicted to the Internet, Yahoo!, Twitter, Facebook and everything else, Tumbler. Being addicted is good if it's for the better. But for a lady called KD, it's T.R.O.U.B.L.E. I lose up to two hours on the Net. Not to mention, I was almost late to 2 different appointment because of Facebook.

So, this means I've got to be more restricted. 
*Where did all those years of DISCIPLINE go to? Did they run off to a vacation during this critical period of time???* Ahem, back to my MAIN POINT:

1. PLEASE, pretty please, be more disciplined.
  •  Please make sure you restrict your time on the Net, I remember when I was a kid, Mom would give us 30 minutes each to spend on the computer. And only once a week. Nowadays, I spend most of my time on the computer and the Net. So, I'm more likely to waste my time on it.
2. Fight addiction!!!
  • You can do it!!! we've lived without the Net before, we can certainly fight off the addiction now..

Okay, I'm done rambling, Thanks for reading this..
Back to my study- got a quiz tomorrow morning.... turning off the computer- hopefully.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

A New sem, New hopes, New challenges

It's been long since I last updated my blog...
so, today I'm typing about basically my feelings

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Very Best

One way or another we're faced with a dillema..
Whether it's right or wrong,
good or bad,
Night or day,

There's always a choice.. so, How do YOU know you've made the RIGHT choice???
TRUTH IS, you DON'T...

But we always strive for the best...
Yang terbaik..
Even if perfection is impossible...
Human Nature.. fitrah..
Our natural tendency to compete and be the best.
Kita memang akan cuba jadi yang terbaik, or near to it..
Self-satisfaction ... the only thing that motivates us when we're down..
Self-satisfaction, the key to our feelings..
And yet, banyak perkara yang kita tak faham tentang diri sendiri.
Banyak yang kita nak tahu...
Banyak yang kita tak tahu..
The World is a big wide place with endless possibilities, solutions and confusion..
We  just need to navigate our way through it..
"Piece of cake right???" Tell me that when you achieve everything.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


What does it mean?? What is the VERY BEST??
meaning= yang terbaik..
tapi, yang terbaik untuk apa???